On This Episode of “The Young and The Useless”…

21
Aug
2013

None of the people below warrant any sort of article of their own, and reading about these people might actually kill brain cells, so to limit your exposure, we have put together our own faux reality show titled, “The Young and The Useless”, where we can give you the gist of it on what these talentless famewhores are up to now…

mylasinanajbreastimplantsMyla Sinanaj
After sleeping with Kim Kardashian‘s ex-husband, faking a pregnancy scare, getting a boob job and obsessing over Kim Kardashian, Myla decided to take her famewhoring up a notch and made a adult video with a Kris Humphries look-alike. Her p0rno, which was titled, “Myla Sinanaj: The Anti-Kim XXX”, was pretty much just laughed at and she’s been dubbed “The Fat Kim K”. In a bid to fix this problem, Myla started working out and eating right has scheduled $30,000 worth of plastic surgery because she’s “obsessed with [Kim’s] body and want mine to be exactly the same.”

Farrah Abraham holding her new silicon breast implantsFarrah Abraham
After being rejected by Playboy. Twice. Farrah Abraham got another boob job and landing herself the cover of…(wait for it)…”Girls and Corpses” Magazine! When interviewed by the magazine owner following her photoshoot, Farrah let us know that the hardest part about the shoot was “showing off my butt”. Hmmm. The “Backdoor Teen Mom” is having a hard time showing off her butt now? Poor thing. Farrah’s reality show was also shot down by every single network. So now she is pretending like she has a radio show in the works. Because, you know, Farrah is so smart, eloquent and a great speaker of words that she would totally be able to carry a radio show.

sydney leathers before after plastic surgerySydney Leathers
The chick that busted Anthony Weiner for “sexting” is following the “My 15 Minutes of Fame Straight in to P0rn” handbook and has already had her staged bikini photo shoot, recorded a single, shot an adult video and signed up for a bunch of plastic surgery. She has also decided that she is entirely too busy with her new fame to go back to school, therefore can not predict where she will be in 5 years. Here Sydney, let us help. You’re going to make a little bit of money off of staged photoshoots, sex tapes and interviews, someone is going to convince you that you can become even more famous if you blow all the money you just earned on plastic surgery, then no one is going to want to have anything to do with you, you’ll be broke again and you will always be known as that dumpy skanky girl that tried to get famous for tattle tailing on a politician.

courtney stodden bad boob jobCourtney Stodden
After admitting to being the worlds worst bra stuffer, Courtney Stodden finally got that boob job she’s always wanted, which turned out worse than we’ve seen in as long as we can remember…Courtney has been uncharacteristically silent since the breast implants were installed, so she either suffocated in her sleep under the weight of her gargantuan implants, or she must be working on a new album (bahahahah). Let us know if you see her creepy husband dressed in Courtney’s skin, ala Norman Bates in Psycho.

tan mom in a bikiniTan Mom
While she’s certainly not young, she makes up for it in uselessness, so we have included her in this episode of “The Young and the Useless”. Claiming to be way hotter than Farrah Abraham and desperate for her own sex tape, Tan Mom is turned down by Playboy and the entire adult film industry. So, Tan Mom turned to Plan B and goes to rehab and makes a new music video. Tan Mom’s new music video is titled “Life of the Party” and, as expected, it’s painful to watch. No really, it gave me a stomach ache…Watch it below if you dare. (On a side note, who else thinks that Tan Mom on the cover of “Girls and Corpses” would be pretty awesome. Two birds with one stone!!)

While we wait for Myla and Sydney’s highly anticipated music videos, shall we vote on who has the worst “music” video so far?

Tan Mom’s new music video:

Farrah Abraham’s music video:

Courtney Stodden’s music video:


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One Comment

  • avatar Cat says:

    I wonder if Jenna Marbles got anything for letting Kermit be in that horrific Tan Mom video?

    I would write some more but I need to go an bleach my eyes after watching that, thankfully, on mute so my ears are still ok


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