Bruce Jenner Reveals He’s The Father Of Lil Kim’s Baby!
In an unexpected statement, Bruce Jenner has revealed that he is most likely the father of Lil Kim’s unborn baby. Bruce recently split from Kris Jenner, his wife of 23-years, and is happily playing the field. Lil Kim’s pregnancy was unplanned and Bruce and Lil Kim are not officially dating, but as Bruce so eloquently put it, “Yeah, I hit that“. Even more shocking is that the pregnancy was the result of a one-night stand after a chance meeting in a Hollywood plastic surgery recovery center. Bruce was recovering from his recent chondrolaryngoplasty, or “tracheal shave”, procedure and Lil Kim was recovering after having “palm line alterations”, a new unorthodox procedure that changes the appearance of the lines on the palms of the hands, which some believe will alter their futures.
Dr. Valentino performed the procedure on Lil Kim, and when reached for comment, he stated:
“While some are skeptical of this new procedure, obviously the results of Mrs Lil Kim’s palm line alteration have been more than successful, as proven with her unexpected pregnancy. We couldn’t imagine that she could be any happier with her latest surgery and we will be waiting to welcome her back immediately following the birth of her child.”
The expectant parents ask that any fans wanting to send gifts, to please instead make a donation to the plastic surgery fund that they have started for their unborn child, because as Lil Kim says, “…beauty like this isn’t born, it’s built, baby!”
Okay, so maybe this entire article is made up, but wouldn’t they make a cute couple?! Bruce and Kim sittin’ in a tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g…Happy Valentines Day! 😉